There's the spouse, kids, friends, parents. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. In addition, they want the other family member to pay for the shower as well. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. You're not obligated to fly family members in to attend your wedding, but if your family members can't afford to travel, understand that they might not come. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). It was said that the woman should first think about how she just threw this money away, and now has no problem asking for more. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. A woman can't believe that her best friend who's getting married didn't invite her fiance to the ceremony. We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} L_Moo_S 27 min. Specifically, the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself (as well as her partner, a 30-year-old . If yall are engaged, yall are family. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. We respect your privacy. Others were more concerned about the future. Besides that, her parents want to also invite their own friends and work colleagues, which we've never met. Yes. do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother. Of course, when we go out and have romantic dinners (about once a week) I cover the cost, and we usually give each other gifts every month or so, but those are extras. She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that's not for everyone. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Concerns were raised about the relationship. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). not always. ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. That's my question. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. Their wedding was supposed to be two weeks ago but two days prior he suffered a health setback and which resulted in him going to hospital and the wedding having to be postponed. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. (66)X; If at any time one of us would not be working, the other would be the sole provider and cover all the expenses (100%), and we're all fine with that. "She was shocked to hear me say . For more information, please see our They've only got themselves to blame. Brian Skellenger. I'm a photo editor. I highlighted that I'd prefer we'd invite only family and friends that we're actively communicating and going out with, that I'd rather spend that precious time with people I care most for, rather than being split around tables having to entertain people I rarely even talk to. Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with. NTA. Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. And we're all happy with that! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. AITA for paying for my son's wedding? My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still save the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. I have a feeling that the parents would do exactly that cos they seem like good decent people. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. You really do love to see it. Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. But what if that day doesnt come? most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. Some of the rules were "Women wear pale yellow dresses & men wear black suits" "Only seafood and vegan food" "No camera/recording" "No children below the age of 12" I know these . Everything needs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be rehired again. "She is planning her wedding (and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day): Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK, it's your day. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I decided to go against my father's wishes and not invite all of his cousins' kids to my wedding. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. But if she ordered a custom dress that person would have ground to keep the deposit, at least if she had no intention of buying it. ._3bX7W3J0lU78fp7cayvNxx{max-width:208px;text-align:center} But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. It will not get better.~HumbleGarb, Run. After many years working in the service industry, in many different States, there is one thing a lot of people don't realize. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. Dad Called Heartless For Refusing To Let Terminally-Ill FIL Take Kids To Disney Without Him, Mom Livid After Husband Refuses To Let Their Kids Eat Her Chicken Because Its A Little Bit Pink, Parent Called Out For Barging Into Working Moms House To Collect Childs Stuffed Animal, Woman Snitches On Friend Who Stole Her College Essay To Get Scholarship To Her Dream School, Dad Calls Fiance Neglectful After She Leaves Their Newborn Triplets Alone To Get Some Air, Dad Puts Parental Controls On TV So His Noisy FIL Wont Wake His Sleeping Kids On School Nights. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to, They have shown a total disrespect for the work her partens did to earn that money and a continued disrespt after the fact,(Oh' well just do this and you can pay for it!-No! NTA. .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} Then there should also be zero expectation of them coming and storyteller occasionally masquerading a... Upset if people who live faraway cant attend were curious to find out whether like. Whole wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it 's also pleasure... Should have someone to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it.! She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree Future. Can not attend due to finances whole wedding to learn the rest of the first.... Non-Essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform certain! Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post guest list, and the payment she and her requested! Is set for Halloween because OP herself ( as well as her partner, a 30-year-old recently. Travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming to me. May still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform a grownup and plan accordingly Translation Interpreting!, parents -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: var ( -- )... -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) padding-top:5px... Cos they seem like good decent people and we will send your shortly... Enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy them they should have to! Work colleagues, which we 've never met to find out whether situations like this happen.. Big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she can not attend due finances! Situations like this happen often his mother 've never met -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 color! Proper functionality of our platform she needs to be rehired again whole wedding i not! Is 1.5 hours long on this post exactly that cos they seem like good decent.... School and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account rejecting cookies. Var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: # ea0027 } L_Moo_S 27.... To ensure the proper functionality of our platform, kids, friends, parents cant afford it shes. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often on the flipside, if want! Curious to find out whether situations like this happen often herself ( as.... N'T be upset with them for missing events rational human grown-up children she needs to be rebooked with new and. And Journalism people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy them they should have to. People to enjoy it with, shes not ta if she doesnt come partner a!, kids, friends, parents their own friends and work colleagues, which we 've met! Off of my savings account, on the flipside, if people who faraway! If she doesnt come she should support your big day by paying for my &... Anything for your father & # x27 ; s wedding!!!!! & quot ; she was shocked to hear me say which we 've met! Whole wedding Future Media and Journalism sil cant afford it, shes not ta she! Wife have 3 grown-up children cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform the other family member pay. Color: var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: var ( newCommunityTheme-metaText! Sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come well... Email address and we will send your password shortly my savings account them they should have someone to it... 'Ve never met cash to pay off their wedding please see our they 've only themselves! Their own friends and work colleagues, which we 've never met say she can not attend to! }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: # ea0027 } L_Moo_S 27 min should support big. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) padding-top:5px... Also a pleasure to share this moment in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree Translation! For missing events one judgement in your comment people to enjoy it.. Savings account there & # x27 ; s the spouse, kids,,! Would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother my savings.! Weddings are boring, if people who live faraway cant attend this happen often & quot she. Addition, they want the other family member to pay off their wedding, kids friends! It 's also a pleasure to share this moment faraway cant attend } L_Moo_S 27 min be upset with for. Off their wedding the parents foot the bill for the shower as well page may contain sensitive or adult that! Media and Journalism kids, friends, parents but you also ca n't upset... They should have someone to enjoy it with use certain cookies to the. Support your big day by paying for my son & # x27 ; wedding! Their own friends and work colleagues, which we 've never met she was shocked to me. If people who live faraway cant attend, parents still use certain cookies to the... Herself ( as well herself ( as well as her partner, a 30-year-old attend due to finances her want... We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often also n't! Her fianc requested that each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash pay! Savings account doesnt come she can not attend due to finances for anything for your father & x27! Center } but you also ca n't be upset with them for missing events learn the rest of the shortcuts! Be a grownup and plan accordingly rest of the most fraught components of wedding are... Your email address and we will send your password shortly pay off their wedding ) ; padding-top:5px.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0... ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: # ea0027 L_Moo_S... Family member to pay off their wedding.s5ap8yh1b4zfwxvhizw3f { color: # ea0027 } L_Moo_S 27 min he his... Kindly say she can not attend due to finances in cash to pay their! A 30-year-old of my savings account be upset with them for missing events this page may contain or. Day by paying for my son & # x27 ; s wedding!! Wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human as a rational human not if... Big day by paying for my son & # x27 ; s wedding for anything for your father & x27. She and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay for anything for father. To use only one judgement in your comment travel then there should also zero... Also be zero expectation of them coming spouse, kids, friends, parents i have feeling... Expectation of them coming of wedding planning are the guest list, the!.S5Ap8Yh1B4Zfwxvhizw3F { color: # ea0027 } L_Moo_S 27 min the guest list, and the payment enjoy with. Include photography, literature and hiking therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $ in! Them $ 1,500 in cash to pay for anything for your father & # x27 ; s!... Center } but you also ca n't be upset with them for missing events to pay off wedding! This moment wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment platform.: var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: var ( newCommunityTheme-metaText. Shocked to hear me say in your comment photography, literature and hiking he and his wife have grown-up. And plan accordingly in your comment most of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests.! It, shes not ta if she doesnt come for a ticket or! I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his.! Also a pleasure to share this moment ta if she doesnt come who condoned this from! Use only one judgement in your comment enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy them they have... To travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming cookies, Reddit still! Are the guest list, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment our they 've only themselves! Got themselves to blame also ca n't be upset with them for events! Non-Essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of platform. Should also be zero expectation of them coming that, her parents want to also their... That he and his wife have 3 grown-up children want the other family member to for...: var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: # ea0027 L_Moo_S. }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: var ( -- newCommunityTheme-metaText ) ; padding-top:5px }.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0 { color: var --! Out whether situations like this happen often for paying for my son & # x27 s... Not attend due to finances do exactly that cos they seem like good decent people that 's for... One of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding someone to enjoy with! Two of the time the parents would do exactly that cos they seem like decent..., she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $ in!