Who needs enemies, when you have family like this? This is weird. She tainted my daughter into believing I was abandoning both of them, not just the immature adult. You cant be mad at someone just because they are liked by your family. Why I dont know exactly. I completely understand this as well. His ex brother-in-law still talks to him and my daughter and children feel very betrayed. My ex is still around, and is getting remarried soon, so his fianc is also around, its so bizarre and ridiculous and I can only feel sorry for his new wife to be..who in their right mind wants to be hanging out with your husbands exs family? Your family is out of line. contact dr peter today for any spell , death spell , love spell , money spell , deliverance spell , healing spell,spell to remove black magic out of your life , family and marriage, I need to cut ties woth my oldest ex boyfriends and family am i bring unreasonable no. why they sometimes send you mixed signals, do not settle for a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship, 9 Tips To Make Up, Reconnect & Heal The Relationship After A Fight With Your Man, 11 Simple Tips on How to Get a Commitment Phobe To Commit, He Ignores You? over you. She got bored with her ex (because, most likely, her narcissism). I didnt know Im such a pos, My family had cut me out completely exponentially even more after my brother died 6 months ago and they let my ex use mind games during the beginning of my loss for reasons I cant believe. Your sister needs to respect you, simple as that. I am experiencing the exact same thing. And two years later he is still doing his evil from keeping my sister and her family away from me . It was easier to cut the ties and not hear them telling her to reconsider. Unreal. Im sorry. He would not leave, so I needed to go. Then overnight or, after a long, drawn out painful divorce, the EX is supposed to be treated as a criminal. I have good friends. He ended up trying to use their relationship in court against me! This is disgusting behavior from your family. I feel like its wrecking my life. This has affected my entire life. But its been very weird lately with how his son been acting towards me. Im so sorry you are experiencing this. My mother told me to get out of her house shortly after I proposed to my wife now. How Often And When Do They Communicate? When they realised they couldnt get my brother (my Mum and Dads only other son) to agree with how theyd behaved they dropped him and two small grandchildren. Mary asks me to communicate with the Dr. IYAYA. No one ever takes a second to think how the other person is dealing with the breakdown of a family. He is an EX. We do not know why this woman left her husband. I know they say family will hurt you more than your own enemies but this is truly killing me. Why miss out on some of lifes greatest memories with family and friends, lifes to short. I am saddened but grateful to have found this post by chance. If your partners ex is still in their life, there are some questions you may want to ask, just to make sure everything is on the up and up with you two, and so you can feel secure in the relationship if their ex's presence makes you feel icky. Mom should be thankful. How you can not show any interest in your flesh and blood is beyond me but like you say you realise you are happier and healthier without these kind of relationships. We know this as fact, because she made videos of her cheating. Unless he did something that wasnt told that merits distance, they did not choose him, they just didnt go through a divorce, you did. You need to control your reaction. You meet new people who are healthy for you you get married again because you refuse to let what youve gone through stop you from loving and trusting the good people in the world. His family is very traditional. relationships have to end because you changed your mind about being married? He tends to be awkward in social situations and that makes me feel uncomfortable. It is an over reach. I believe the family member should respect you and just not discuss the other person or put it in your face. Now suddenly they are all ip in each others lives. Good luck i hope it helps, keep us posted:D. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I totally agree with you and am I right in thinking this Uncle is not even a blood relative of your Nephew? Why do I stay? Maybe the family has their reason for being distant. I broached the issue with my family and they turned against me and made me feel like I was the problem. I had to fight off a TPO that later the judge threw out. Stand by what you feel. There is an unhealthy dynamic in a family that clearly crosses boundaries that normal/functioning families know not to cross. Family needs to reach out and ask what youre comfortable with ie family get togethers etc. They missed more than twenty years of our lives. You need to cut off the whole regime if need be or you will never move on with your life and have peace of mind. He remarried, I never did (by choice). He and my closest sister are good buddies now, he now attends her boys games and events which he rarely did when we were together. I wonder how it will all play out, but at this stage I have learnt to live without them. Blows my mind. What if he is in your shoes. However, as time goes on I see them looking at you as unreasonable. Theresa deserves Karma to put her in a similar situation and see how tshe survives it. I think youre being selfish. These are family functions that my ex is not attending though. Dont be surprised! I now have a wife and child. I now realise that mine had been doing a number on me with my own family for years setting the stage to become the victim when he was the perpetrator and I sadly have come to the conclusion that the members of my family who supported him have pretty much the same characteristics. So, I get you! I see people taking about you being abused emotionaly. You are unreasonable. Sporting events, kids birthdays, sure.but Thanksgiving and Christmas is taking it too far. He wanted to maintain his relationship with my family but I clearly told him and my family no. He then changed the locks on our home leaving me with no possessions. Because in reality its their mental illness not me . My full brother went but after that my Dad never bothered with him again and has no interest in his grandchildren. One thing I noticed, that no one seemed to address, is the fact its the OP with the problem. My advice would be to explain how you feel and then be prepared to find a new happy place xxx. I do still feel funny about it all. Since 2008 Ive been coaching men and women to archieve succes and happiness in their love lives. I wonder if I should invite my family for dinner to reconnect and have my brothers ex wife there. You and your ex will both form relationships with new familes as you move on with your lives. Your email address will not be published. when I met her, she claimed to be separated for 4 years already, yet she still lived with her ex, at the beginning I didnt complained, after seeing that she was being very complasive with her ex, I started to ask her to leave her exes house and come to live at mine, so she did, but she kept on going back, every time that I asked her why she would do that, she would find a reason, every time we had misunderstandings, shell end up spending the night there. You want your family to take your husband in like a family member. If your boyfriend and his family find it hard to discuss sensitive. That is stating look at me Im a victim. My ex was massive passive aggressive to me, but to the rest of the world he acts like he is a saint. That is very hurtful. "@type": "FAQPage", They have already hurt you and now you need to stop re hurting yourself with that hurt if that makes sense. You love him. If it hurts it isnt love. You see, I love my ex-wife and never wanted the divorce. I feel for her . You really need to grow up and do some soul searching. I know exactly how you feel, the same happened to me, and it still goes on. Its also true that within his social circle, he now keeps the door open to get back with his ex. Your ex sounds like a complete narcissist. He once pushed me out of a moving car and then drove onto my fathers. I love them all. Why is it all right for him to be in my family with his girlfriends and it is not OK for me to be with the one I love? I have been assaulted by the brother and give a verbal spray by the sister after I disclosed I had brain tumors and an aneurysm requiring treatment and surgery. Exs who cant exit your life and stop unhealthy ways to make sure their Believed are SICK Period, and you have the right to protect your kids from them if they are against YOU period. My ex and I are still friends and her mother and sister love me albeit I dont share the holidays but I stay in touch on occasion and after 20 years of being in that family why shouldnt I. Your family should NOT be hanging out with him when it is making you uncomfortable and even preventing you and your children from participating in family holidays! However, men rarely understand the impact of certain actions, thats why they sometimes send you mixed signals. Another tip is try to spend time with your family and the kids when it is your turn with them, on your weekend plan things to do, so you can spend time with your family just like he does. Would you like your family to? I remember as a small child going to that house for holidays, summer vacations and what not. And I do feel it is wrong all the way. His ex, whom . This is my testimony about the marvelous work priest manuka did for me. My mom told me later that night how she contacted (love solutiontemple .c o m) that did a spell to make my husband open up the truth and make him remorseful to come apologized. Needless to say, when having to choose whose family my adult children spend holidays with, its never me. I have, unfortunately, learned to live with it. My Dad, stepmum and siblings supported my abusive ex over me which broke my heart and its taken me 4 years to mainly come to terms with it buy I still have pangs. It has gone on for five years. My ex lives 7 hours from him too. I know this post is old, but I completely relate. She is 8 now. Its mean and very hurtful. My mother now thinks its ok to try manipulate my children, and make them take sides. I just cant believe their insensitivity. I feel so much for you. what should I do? He cheated. Whenever she brings a new guy on the scene, your boyfriend has a problem with it. Do you think your family are perhaps lacking in emotional intelligence? All of my family knew how abruptly he asked for adivorce. He should only come round if you feel comfortable with it- and you dont feel comfortable. Am I just insecure? Having first hand experience with someone diagnosed with a personality disorder, things like narcissism might be an easy label to help ease you own pain, but require an in person professional diagnosis. I did stupid decisions to get his attention and I think he wanted out so he pushed. I would go there for holidays , weekends and just to visit. So years went by and barely any conversations ever were initiated by my family of their opinions on what to do. Thats not reality. I havent spoken to my brother or parents in nearly 3 years. Personal I think youre being selfish. It's a big ask, especially when he's not doing anything wrong. Joanna, nothing in the original writers comments claim her ex was abusive, dangerous or manipulative, just that they are not friends. I divorced them all. Ive known this man since I was 17 years old (Im 38 now) and the past feelings and experiences we had as kids, sticks with me and I tell myself its meant to be. It wasnt long and he remarried. I get that he is her husbands brother but she embraces his girlfriends when they come to her house. Ive told him repeatedly that the last person I care to see on my anniversary, is my ex wife, but so far, its done no good. Sounds like your ex and mine are both sociopaths who are masters at manipulation and gaslighting. But they said they forgave her because she was struggling with it even though she was the one that talked of divorce first. when he first told me in bout 4 month we were going 2gether but he only pretended later i have it in a text he trick me 4 me 2 fall in love with him and that he was sorry later on. MY family STILL invites her to family functions, and 80% of the time she comes. . Your boyfriend's family probably still want him and his ex to get back together. I had to tell my family to choose. I was thrown out at 18 and thats fine. Your family should be spending time with YOU, not your ex snd his girlfriend. Nothing will replace my now adult children, those relationships and What might have been. But I no longer see myself as a victim. Those kids are little people who have a right to choose for themselves. Your ending sentence is abusive and unnecessary in healthy adult debate. A good counselor can help you see things more clearly too. He did tell me the other day that his ex was dating someone new, and that he was happy for her. Just deal with it. Our lives went on.. Family should be the first priority. Even if you spent time with their siblings frequently and considered them close. I found out she continues to socialize with him regularly. Her husband is still talking to my ex against my wishes. Youre too jealous and resentful to let your children have a decent relationship with their own goddamn father. 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